Kwadwo Oppong Nkrumah, the Sultan of Spin, strutted to the podium, his best “I’ve-got-a-secret” face on.
He cleared his throat, ready to weave a tale of deceit so intricate, even he would believe it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve finally found the scandal to bring down Mahama’s ghost! NPP members, get your chopsticks ready for Christmas!”
The room erupted into a frenzy, but Oppong Nkrumah remained unfazed, his poker face on point.
He announced, “GOLDBOD has incurred a loss of $219 million!”
The crowd gasped. Heeeeeeey!
Sammy Gyamfi, the GoldBod CEO, wasn’t having it. “Hey, master of spin, stop the theatrics! ”
Samson Lardy Ayenini chimed in, “Okay, let’s settle this on Newsfile.”
Oppong Nkrumah’s confidence wavered, remembering two wise sayings:
Asantefoɔ Nnwoma Ti 123:6 “Animguasiɛ mfata ɔkani ba”. To it “Disgrace doesn’t suit an Akan”
Proverbs 22:3 — “Onitefoɔ hunu ɔsɛyiɛ a ɛbɛba, na ɔde ne ho hunta; na nkwasia fa mu na ɔnya asotwe” To it, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes refuge, but the foolish pass on and get punished”
Panicked, Oppong Nkrumah called in Kabiru from Walewale to bail him out.
Sammy Gyamfi pounced: “Game over,” GoldBod scandal “yaamutu”.
Kabiru regretted appearing, slamming his papers and storming out. “I didn’t sign up for this”
The show ended with Sammy Gyamfi basking in glory, while Oppong Nkrumah’s spin-doctor credentials were revoked.